Ruminations: What I learned talking to the ceiling.

Two steps backwards is making progress

2006-09-30T22:09:00.000-04:00

I'm experiencing a rebirth of sorts. Today I was in a crowded place, and I was strangely aware of all the strangers. Normally I feel safe and calm around many unknown people. Today I felt vulnerable and not in control. I'm changing. Living for those that I do not know is not good because I leave behind the ones that I love. My exploration of the world should never lead me to forsake home. I am moving inward and backwards, hoping to recover what I have lost, hoping to connect again with the world of my deepest friends and loves. I will always be an adventurer, that will never change, but my new journeys to the unknown will always end once again in the place I am loved for who I am, not for what I bring to the table.

What should I call this post?

2006-09-02T13:16:00.000-04:00

I've been struck by this thought - what if I turned every "should" in to reality? How different would my life be? The prospect of eternity or the afterlife, if you believe in it, either makes you completely apathetic because nothing here really matters or obsessively passionate about every minute you live right now because you are practicing for eternity.

My pastor has said that earth is a chance to begin practicing heaven. The first part of walking in heaven now is opening the heart to the sacrifice of Jesus... but too many people who label themselves Christians stop there and so their lives become hopelessly boring. If it is really possible that the God of life can live inside of people, then I'm very excited about that and how it impacts my reality. And so that brings us back to the "shoulds."

I should hug my family more.
I should love the person whose attitude bothers me at work everyday.
I should give my money to the poor and the church.
I should make that phone call even though I'm tired.
I should become more politically active.
I should waste less time watching TV.
I should learn how to write in cursive so I can write letters.
I should not spend more money on things I don't need.
I should stop and explore that park.
I should jam with my pops.

Those are a few of mine, some I've done, some are hard for me to do.

What are your shoulds? Make them a reality.

Communion

2006-08-04T23:28:00.000-04:00

Tonight I was driving to the gym and I felt a sort of tightness in my chest, a little sadness and a little aprehension about the future. I tried to pinpoint the source of it, but couldn't.

Then, I played the scripture on CD and the peace of God came in. I was really struck by how simple the Lord's real solution is to our problems. He wants us to eat His Word and drink His blood.

It's that simple, and that mysterious.

The Brink of Madness

2006-08-04T13:59:00.002-04:00

August 04, 2006, 5:27 a.m.

The Brink of Madness
A familiar place.

By Victor Davis Hanson

When I used to read about the 1930s — the Italian invasion of Abyssinia, the rise of fascism in Italy, Spain, and Germany, the appeasement in France and Britain, the murderous duplicity of the Soviet Union, and the racist Japanese murdering in China — I never could quite figure out why, during those bleak years, Western Europeans and those in the United States did not speak out and condemn the growing madness, if only to defend the millennia-long promise of Western liberalism.

Of course, the trauma of the Great War was all too fresh, and the utopian hopes for the League of Nations were not yet dashed. The Great Depression made the thought of rearmament seem absurd. The connivances of Stalin with Hitler — both satanic, yet sometimes in alliance, sometimes not — could confuse political judgments.

But nevertheless it is still surreal to reread the fantasies of Chamberlain, Daladier, and Pope Pius, or the stump speeches by Charles Lindbergh (“Their [the Jews’] greatest danger to this country lies in their large ownership and influence in our motion pictures, our press, our radio, and our government”) or Father Coughlin (“Many people are beginning to wonder whom they should fear most — the Roosevelt-Churchill combination or the Hitler-Mussolini combination.”) — and baffling to consider that such men ever had any influence.

Not any longer.

Our present generation too is on the brink of moral insanity. That has never been more evident than in the last three weeks, as the West has proven utterly unable to distinguish between an attacked democracy that seeks to strike back at terrorist combatants, and terrorist aggressors who seek to kill civilians.

It is now nearly five years since jihadists from the Arab world left a crater in Manhattan and ignited the Pentagon. Apart from the frontline in Iraq, the United States and NATO have troops battling the Islamic fascists in Afghanistan. European police scramble daily to avoid another London or Madrid train bombing. The French, Dutch, and Danish governments are worried that a sizable number of Muslim immigrants inside their countries are not assimilating, and, more worrisome, are starting to demand that their hosts alter their liberal values to accommodate radical Islam. It is apparently not safe for Australians in Bali, and a Jew alone in any Arab nation would have to be discreet — and perhaps now in France or Sweden as well. Canadians’ past opposition to the Iraq war, and their empathy for the Palestinians, earned no reprieve, if we can believe that Islamists were caught plotting to behead their prime minister. Russians have been blown up by Muslim Chechnyans from Moscow to Beslan. India is routinely attacked by Islamic terrorists. An elected Lebanese minister must keep in mind that a Hezbollah or Syrian terrorist — not an Israeli bomb — might kill him if he utters a wrong word. The only mystery here in the United States is which target the jihadists want to destroy first: the Holland Tunnel in New York or the Sears Tower in Chicago.

In nearly all these cases there is a certain sameness: The Koran is quoted as the moral authority of the perpetrators; terrorism is the preferred method of violence; Jews are usually blamed; dozens of rambling complaints are aired, and killers are often considered stateless, at least in the sense that the countries in which they seek shelter or conduct business or find support do not accept culpability for their actions.

Yet the present Western apology to all this is often to deal piecemeal with these perceived Muslim grievances: India, after all, is in Kashmir; Russia is in Chechnya; America is in Iraq, Canada is in Afghanistan; Spain was in Iraq (or rather, still is in Al Andalus); or Israel was in Gaza and Lebanon. Therefore we are to believe that “freedom fighters” commit terror for political purposes of “liberation.” At the most extreme, some think there is absolutely no pattern to global terrorism, and the mere suggestion that there is constitutes “Islamaphobia.”

Here at home, yet another Islamic fanatic conducts an act of al Qaedism in Seattle, and the police worry immediately about the safety of the mosques from which such hatred has in the past often emanated — as if the problem of a Jew being murdered at the Los Angeles airport or a Seattle civic center arises from not protecting mosques, rather than protecting us from what sometimes goes on in mosques.

But then the world is awash with a vicious hatred that we have not seen in our generation: the most lavish film in Turkish history, “Valley of the Wolves,” depicts a Jewish-American harvesting organs at Abu Ghraib in order to sell them; the Palestinian state press regularly denigrates the race and appearance of the American Secretary of State; the U.N. secretary general calls a mistaken Israeli strike on a U.N. post “deliberate,” without a word that his own Blue Helmets have for years watched Hezbollah arm rockets in violation of U.N. resolutions, and Hezbollah’s terrorists routinely hide behind U.N. peacekeepers to ensure impunity while launching missiles.

If you think I exaggerate the bankruptcy of the West or only refer to the serial ravings on the Middle East of Pat Buchanan or Jimmy Carter, consider some of the most recent comments from Hezbollah chief Hassan Nasrallah about Israel: “When the people of this temporary country lose their confidence in their legendary army, the end of this entity will begin [emphasis added].” Then compare Nasrallah’s remarks about the U.S: “To President Bush, Prime Minister Olmert and every other tyrannical aggressor. I want to invite you to do what you want, practice your hostilities. By God, you will not succeed in erasing our memory, our presence or eradicating our strong belief. Your masses will soon waste away, and your days are numbered [emphasis added].”

And finally examine here at home reaction to Hezbollah — which has butchered Americans in Lebanon and Saudi Arabia — from a prominent Democratic Congressman, John Dingell: “I don’t take sides for or against Hezbollah.” And isn’t that the point, after all: the amoral Westerner cannot exercise moral judgment because he no longer has any?

An Arab rights group, between denunciations of Israel and America, is suing its alma mater the United States for not evacuating Arab-Americans quickly enough from Lebanon, despite government warnings of the dangers of going there, and the explicit tactics of Hezbollah, in the manner of Saddam Hussein, of using civilians as human shields in the war it started against Israel.

Demonstrators on behalf of Hezbollah inside the United States — does anyone remember our 241 Marines slaughtered by these cowardly terrorists? — routinely carry placards with the Star of David juxtaposed with Swastikas, as voices praise terrorist killers. Few Arab-American groups these past few days have publicly explained that the sort of violence, tyranny, and lawlessness of the Middle East that drove them to the shores of a compassionate and successful America is best epitomized by the primordial creed of Hezbollah.

There is no need to mention Europe, an entire continent now returning to the cowardice of the 1930s. Its cartoonists are terrified of offending Muslim sensibilities, so they now portray the Jews as Nazis, secure that no offended Israeli terrorist might chop off their heads. The French foreign minister meets with the Iranians to show solidarity with the terrorists who promise to wipe Israel off the map (“In the region there is of course a country such as Iran — a great country, a great people and a great civilization which is respected and which plays a stabilizing role in the region”) — and manages to outdo Chamberlain at Munich. One wonders only whether the prime catalyst for such French debasement is worry over oil, terrorists, nukes, unassimilated Arab minorities at home, or the old Gallic Jew-hatred.

It is now a cliché to rant about the spread of postmodernism, cultural relativism, utopian pacifism, and moral equivalence among the affluent and leisured societies of the West. But we are seeing the insidious wages of such pernicious theories as they filter down from our media, universities, and government — and never more so than in the general public’s nonchalance since Hezbollah attacked Israel.

These past few days the inability of millions of Westerners, both here and in Europe, to condemn fascist terrorists who start wars, spread racial hatred, and despise Western democracies is the real story, not the “quarter-ton” Israeli bombs that inadvertently hit civilians in Lebanon who live among rocket launchers that send missiles into Israeli cities and suburbs.

Yes, perhaps Israel should have hit more quickly, harder, and on the ground; yes, it has run an inept public relations campaign; yes, to these criticisms and more. But what is lost sight of is the central moral issue of our times: a humane democracy mired in an asymmetrical war is trying to protect itself against terrorists from the 7^th century, while under the scrutiny of a corrupt world that needs oil, is largely anti-Semitic and deathly afraid of Islamic terrorists, and finds psychic enjoyment in seeing successful Western societies under duress.

In short, if we wish to learn what was going on in Europe in 1938, just look around.

— Victor Davis Hanson is a senior fellow at the Hoover Institution. He is the author, most recently, of A War Like No Other. How the Athenians and Spartans Fought the Peloponnesian War.

National Review Online - http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=ZDBhMzg5Mzk4NjQ5MjM5OTJhZjRjMWQ4OWMzNDhmMzk=

Abandon

2006-08-03T20:59:00.000-04:00

Ah, such a whirlwind of thoughts, really stirred up more by how I'm living than by any conscious decision to have them.

A while ago, I wrote to myself about myself, because I tend to do things like that. Usually I'm very introspective and at the same time very open and vulnerable. I wrote to myself about my "superhero complex", which perhaps I'll talk more about some other time, but suffice it to say that I was identifying a tendency in me to believe that no-one could understand me. It all really boiled down to narccisism, to be quite blunt, Christopher, if you don't mind -- no I don't at all, continue.

Right on. So living in my world looked like a mix of love for people that was tempered by an inability to really feel natural about them because I somehow had gotten hung up on the idea that they didn't understand me.

Once I knew that about myself, I really didn't know what to do, until last week, my trainer at work let me know about the feedback I was getting back from my team members. They seemed to think I was a good boss, catching on quickly, but I was completely lacking any sort of personal relationship. What? -- I thought to myself at first. I'm great with people! But no, this was something worth digging deeper for.

So I really thought hard about my interactions and realized that something was missing. To them, I was becoming "the boss", "the man", "big brother", all things which ironically are about as far from my personality as could be. My team did what I asked, but with no joy and some fear. Could this be possible? Is it really true that the friendly, listening, open-minded Christopher was only "the boss" to them?

I decided to latch onto the simple thought that every moment was a chance to build something deeper. The next day I spent about an hour listening, walking, asking, helping, calming -- maybe not very well, but I knew something was changing. I saw walls go down in peoples eyes, and laughter behind them when I was around, and they started to joke with me. It wasn't perfect, but there were no more scared looks, no more distaste when I assigned a task, even the general defensiveness started to melt.

And it's still going on, but I'm so excited because I'm learning to let go and abandon myself to the strengths of others and help them dream and live and show them that I'm on their side.

It's all very beautiful to me.

Free-thought

2006-07-21T19:02:00.000-04:00

Waterwallways
Here I am awake but bleeding from the slow love
That plagues me, makes me.
Eternal pounding, pumping, precipitates my Love.

I don't know what to make of this,
representing my heart is a lost art,
lost by me of all people, and yet not quite lost
Held in the mystery of Jesus guiding loving
While I stumble for bits and look up for light
The night is right sometimes to hide the moon
Eyes more keen to catch light
Shadows are places where bright rays chill
Holding hope for the alley cats shimmering broken glass
Awaits the day when the Son returns
To put Humpty together again

Or better yet, Humpty's shell broken fell
Now, not refinished but replaced
Not taped together
His jagged sad face
Looks nigh, where the Son draws.
Does he draw as he draws?
Does he color as he rides?
Does he love the bride he sees broken?
Her Humpty face looks up to catch a ray
Awaiting the glory day when this shell won't hold her the jagged edge won't hurt her
The Lover has arrived to transport her
Fly Lord, as my heart bleeds beauty with the alley cats

Iris

2006-07-02T21:09:00.000-04:00

Look at the pictures. This site always moves me.

Healing Poem

2006-07-02T16:37:00.000-04:00

My heart is like an iceberg

Not cold and hard

But seven-tenths hidden

If I love you only

With the tenths that show

My love won't last the course

But if I am to love you

With my whole heart

I must face the pain

Of hidden things

Surfacing

Come, Lord

With the Titanic of your love

Collide with my heart

And in that great collision

Let it be my reservations

That sink forever

Original Context

Ahorita

2006-06-27T19:09:00.000-04:00

There are some things that make me melancholy. Like:

the fact that people get old and die,
that people spend so much of their time working at jobs without much to show for it except a paycheck,
that people are lonely, that time moves on,
that so much of the past is in the dark and memories only hold so much water,
et cetera ad nauseum. :-)

Thinking like that can really slow you down.

So, I try to let go of it. Because you really can't change any of that. People will still die, still grow old, time will still meander on, many memories will fade, and I can't stop everyone from being lonely.

And really the solution has nothing to do with being melancholy. I live in now, whether I like it or not. Fighting NOW is a waste of time. One time someone told me that John 3:16 was written in Greek something like this: "For God so loved the world that whoever is believing in Him will not perish, but have eternal life." I love that because to me it talks about discovering God's love now, now, now. The future is overrated sometimes. We think about what we are want to be when we grow up and who we will marry and what we will look like when we are bald. LAME! I wonder how much time I've wasted worrying about the future that could have been spent growing in LOVE. It's about who we are becoming, not who we were, or who we will be. God holds those other things for us, and it doesn't get Him bent out of shape like it would for us.

Ah... i want to know Jesus' love... so tangible and real. The Lord has been a theory for too long. Capture my heart Jesus.

Lovelorn

2006-06-23T21:05:00.000-04:00

Today driving home, I was listening to the radio, but there wasn't anything I liked. So i turned it off and watched the rain hit my windshield too slowly to be any fun -- the kind that forces you to change the windshield wiper speed all the time. I had this feeling come over me, sort of like the feeling when you skip lunch, except it was inside me, you know, the person "me". And I wanted to sing to God.

I think God must have been calling me then, and I think that gives me hope that he hasn't forgotten about me, and all of those dreams I had aren't just going to turn to dust. Soon, I know, I will break, and he will change my heart.

People can't be alone for the fear of themselves

2006-06-22T22:17:00.000-04:00

Where are the dreams and the dreamers
Sinking
Who let the lion steal the teachers
Where are the wise ones
Preaching
What of the freedom we tasted
And some gifts, wasted
Needing
Aching eyes I see your baby cries
Ancient eyes I see your backward sighs

Someone cry, someone weep,
Someone laugh, someone be free
Someone rescue the people

Lions are lurking and lions are hurting
I see live people, dead with disease
Repent of the nothing world
Be done with the currency of death
Entreating
The great lion sweetly beckons
O captain
Don't let this ship
Sink
Armada desesperada
Metanoia be free

Christopher K. Strickland. Copyright 2006.

2006-06-21T00:44:00.000-04:00

I went to planet fitness today after working the off-site warehouse with Target...insane, I tell you. Working the warehouse at Target, that is. We were moving all these steel beams around -- the kind of stuff I'll be "delegating" in a couple of months. So, anyways back to planet fitness.

I did a 2 warm up sets of 12x35 flat dumbell, then a pyramid up to 55. That was great for me coming off this shoulder injury. I still feel a tweak here and there, and probably should have iced it, but of course I'm updating blogger instead. Then I did two sets of incline, 5 sets of see-saw (kind of like an inverted decline), 3 sets of cable flyes, and finished it off with some dips and tricep push-downs. Felt so good to be back there.

As I mentioned before, today was my second day of hands-on training with Target. It's all a little overwhelming, but I think I'm catching on. My position will be managing logistics, but they try to train you in every area in the first 8 weeks so that you can be a store manager in a few years. Right now I'm training at a store in Bethel CT, which will not be my permanent home.

The store manager called all of the interns and executives in training into his office the other day so we could have a chat session. It went very well until we got to his management theory, which I didn't like. He said you can either motivate people by guilt or fear. While I agree that guilt is probably the lesser of two evils, I found myself thinking that the converse or complement of guilt is trust. People feel guilty because they have some kind of emotional or value-based buy-in to what you are saying. Maybe they will feel guilty if they don't fulfill expectations, but is that really the tool we use as managers? We can appeal to their sense of duty or whatever, but maybe we really need to appeal to their sense of being people, being alive, and wanting to belong. I think that's where trust comes in. How can you really have a trusting relationship with someone who knows nothing about you except your name, which he just read off your name tag?

Well, that's my rant for today. :-)
Oh, and one more thing, and this is sad. On my way home today, I suddenly remembered a place I had seen a Starbucks, so I pulled off. I kid you not, when I saw that beautiful green and white sign, I literally grinned. Like a BIG grin, from ear to ear. Then I realized what I was doing and thought "crap..I really am an addict."

Vacation Rumination

2006-06-09T01:34:00.000-04:00

I have unfortunately been stuck here for the last week, this house having spacious rooms for our whole family, which is quite a feat considering there are 9 of us, if you include the gecko. It's been quite a ride, literally, as my aunt and uncle have kindly lent us their tank of Jeep, the 1970's CJ, which apparently is quite rare, and so the UPS man and many others offer to buy it all the time. Either way, it's a head turner, and I have been busy thinking up excuses to drive it. One day I went to the local Publix grocer 3 times because I kept "forgetting" things. In a show of thanks for letting us borrow the monster, Pops, Ben, and I decided to give the jeep a good wash and wax, which left the old red paint decidedly happier, and I suppose uncle Murray will be equally enamored. It has given me a hankering to own one myself, but I'll have to decided between that and a cycle, I'm sure.

I just wrapped up Donald Miller's third or fourth offering, "Searching For God Knows What", thanks to Joanna for the loaner. I found it a little more pithy than Blue Like Jazz, or at least he did a better job of fleshing out his ideas concerning Christian spirituality. I really like the chapter on the gospel, which dealt with a lot of the faulty ways in which the Church tries to be cool, but really only ends up making itself a slave to the world. He described this pattern as something along the lines of "Christ saves us to redeem us to the world." It's really a refreshing call to consider the implications of Jesus' emphasis on the Kingdom being something radically different, situated completely outside of the world's system, an idea which Christian at least intellectually subscribe to. But what do we really subscribe to? The question becomes more poignant when its couched like this: Who do we really get our sense of well-being from - the opinions and praise of other people, or the Lord? Do we really want to say that the Republican party represents God's interests? Maybe God is not interested in having a political representative. Anyway, it seemed to touch on somethings I have been thinking about.

One thing that has been nagging me lately, and I mentioned this to Mom, is that I feel like I'm catching myself becoming an armchair theologian, thinker, philosopher, and it really scares me. I'm very keen to find some practical, nice way I can serve. I don't really want to do any "leadership" stuff, just a way to serve and love. Because ultimately, it's really all about living this gospel. So I guess I'll start praying and looking a bit.

So this whole retail racket starts for real next Monday in NYC, yessiree... I'll be training off and on down there, and then going around to different stores to practice what we've learned I guess. I go back and forth between being ambivalent and then very excited. What's really going on, I suppose, is that I'm hoping I won't feel tied back. I've got all of these creative juices, and I just want to make sure I can use them. But, the other side to all of this are those basic managing and leading skills that translate to any situation, sort of how they say military officers can make good executives.

I'll finish this post off with a poem that I haven't been diligent enough to research the origin of, but is wonderful for meditating nonetheless.

Jesus, invincible power
Jesus, unending mercy
Jesus, radiant beauty
Jesus, unspeakable love
Jesus, Son of the living God
Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner
Jesus, hear me, for I was conceived in iniquity
Jesus, cleanse me, for I was born in sin
Jesus, teach me, for I have been a fool
Jesus, enlighten me, for I have been in darkness
Jesus, purify me, for I am defiled
Jesus, restore me, the prodigal
Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me.

Source is:

Rainy Tuesdays in the library are SO fun.

2005-11-22T12:34:00.000-05:00

Yeah well, I'm about to empezar my paper for the 100th time. Actually not. I'm not really beginning it because it's a topic i've been thinking about for several years now. It's about leadership, servanthood, power dynamics, and holistic workplaces. How does my work attain to the spiritual?

Somehow the answer is found in being a servant. Some prophetic voices in the business world, both christian and secular, are seeing the need for holistic pathways to success. Pathways which consider the spirit of work. A job which only permits you to bring your body, maybe your mind, but not your spirit is debilitating. While some of that process is self-determined, much depends on the philosophy of the leaders/managers, because they define reality for the organization.

I'm seeing this as opening new possibilities for me to be a servant who happens to lead, rather than vice versa. I think this will impact my decisions for career choices.

It's exciting in a way to see how people are rediscovering some ancient truths, things that are reflected not only in the disposition and dissertations of Jesus, also in Confucious, George Fox, the Moravians, and some others. These ideas have the potential to bend capitalism away from the destructive conclusion of materialism to a philosophy of institutions based on servanthood.

Ok, well that was just me loosening up my mind for this essay. Good read on this is "Leadership is an Art" by Max DePree.

Ciao todos mios

quote.

2005-06-17T11:50:00.000-04:00

“I believe we shall rise to the challenge [posed by Marxism-Leninism]. I believe that communism is another sad, bizarre chapter in human history whose last pages even now are being written. I believe this because the source of our strength in the quest for human freedom is not material, but spiritual. And because it knows no limitation, it must terrify and ultimately triumph over those who would enslave their fellow man.”

“We have been picked at, sworn at, rioted against, and down-graded until we have a built-in guilt complex.”

“It is time we ended our obsession with what is wrong and realized how much is right, how great is our power, and how little we have to fear.”

Ronald Reagan

More things I learned talking to my guitar

2005-06-17T11:18:00.000-04:00

I woke up late today because I went to sleep late last night because I couldn't stop thinking about things. And also because I was playing a game on my computer, but that's besides the point. What I was thinking about last night was that sometimes it's hard for me to accept the idea that it's really just ok that some people are stupid, ice-cold, less than human, and less than I was hoping they would be. Because, when people seem like that, it's probably more about my perspective. I want them to be a certain way, maybe not for bad reasons. Maybe I just want people to be a little softer, a little more human, genunine, and authentic. I hate seeing people who slave to live in the shadow and shell of another person's identity when it's so freaakin easy just to be yourself. I want so badly for people to discover themselves for themselves, because I spent a little while trying to be someone else and I hated it.

But despite all of these "good intentions," there's a little prolllem. Although it's good to care about other people, I gotta be SOO careful that my desire to see ppl change doesn't become criticism. Which is hard. I think I'm equally critical of myself when it comes to changing, but that doesn't neutralize having a critical heart. I think what I want to learn is how to have a soft, human, loving heart myself and let that to draw out the best in people. As long as I try to "fix-it" I'm gonna be in trouble. First step, full, unconditional thanksgiving. Second step, pray til my heart is new. And last, look for ways to love. "Beloved let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God, and knoweth God. But he who loveth not, knoweth not God for God is love." Look at that. It has one encouragement, "Beloved let us love one another." Why? Because the way to become softer and more loving is to LOVE. Kind of ironic right? We have to practice to become better.

So this is my prayer. In place of trying to re-wire people that no me caen bien, I will start to LOVE them.

what I learned last night talking to my guitar

2005-06-13T11:36:00.000-04:00

welll... being a musician of sorts, or at least someone who likes to play just about any instrument i get my hands on, I think a lot about music and how it affects people. Lately, I've been thinking about how extremely few so-called worship songs, and even fewer hymns actually express my heart. Most of the time the songs seem to be written from a spiritual place of mindless bliss rather than a deep place of struggle, faith, and overcoming. Rarely do we hear true honesty in songs, mostly vague references to "trials" or "temptations" and equally banal thoughts about God being "wonderful", "holy", or worse still, "praise Him."

While I understand the historical validity and purpose of these phrases, I often wonder if they really make the connection for the majority of the people who sing them. When I look at a Rembrant painting, something inside of me clicks, I make the connection. The same thing happens when I listen to a U2 song. When an artist is truly authentic, they create timeless beauty that ministers anachronistically. While not all of us have the skill or gifting of the Holy Spirit to create something as timeless as Rembrant, we can certainly try. If we truly are authentic to who we are in our creativity, the result will definitely be 21st century, but even more importantly, it might possibly be timeless because we have been authentic...

Enough of the sameness, stop the recycling, and reach inside to find the power of Jesus Christ to move you into dimensions you have not known before.

This little writing expresses my own struggle to leave behind my own tendency to copy others or my culture. I want to make something beautiful and real that makes people want to stand up and shout.

2005-06-10T13:54:00.001-04:00

My favorite street in venice

2005-06-10T13:54:00.000-04:00

500 ft cross of the valle de los caidos

2005-06-10T13:53:00.000-04:00

Riding camels by the sea on the way to Rabat

2005-06-10T13:52:00.001-04:00

Roman ruins in Rabat, the capital of Morrocco

2005-06-10T13:52:00.000-04:00

my reflection in a sculpture

2005-06-10T13:51:00.000-04:00

Museo Reina Sofia

2005-06-10T13:50:00.002-04:00

Palacio Real through the barbicans

2005-06-10T13:50:00.001-04:00

eric y yo

2005-06-10T13:50:00.000-04:00

nata y yo

2005-06-10T13:49:00.001-04:00

Sunset from my house

2005-06-10T13:49:00.000-04:00

Flight over the Alps

2005-06-10T13:48:00.001-04:00

Little Girl in Extremadura

2005-06-10T13:48:00.000-04:00

Nathalie

2005-06-10T13:47:00.000-04:00

A flower shop in Venice

2005-06-10T13:46:00.001-04:00

Close up

2005-06-10T13:46:00.000-04:00

Tree in the park

2005-06-10T13:45:00.001-04:00

El Retiro, the park near my house in Madrid

2005-06-10T13:45:00.000-04:00

El Escorial

2005-06-10T13:44:00.000-04:00

Quiet street in Chefchouen

2005-06-10T13:43:00.000-04:00

Stained Glass Windows

2005-06-10T13:42:00.000-04:00

Madrid: Door to the Catedral San Jeronimo

2005-06-10T13:41:00.000-04:00

Background: Bridge in Merida constructed by Santiago Calatrava

2005-06-10T13:40:00.000-04:00

Study Abroad Pics: River in Amsterdam

2005-06-10T13:39:00.000-04:00

Study Abroad Pics: River in Amsterdam

hmm...don´t know what to call this

2005-06-01T07:43:00.000-04:00

I was reading some of Rick Joyner´s writings this morning... It really showed me how I have been lacking in having a pure heart before God and put the fear of God into my heart. I don´t think I´ve ever really understood what it means to "DIE to our flesh." I´ve read about it many times, but I can´t say that I really have experienced it. Christ´s sacrifce was so great; how can I just go and spit in his face by living an impure life? It says in proverbs that "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." I think that the middle and end of wisdom is love. We start by fearing hell and end up loving the paradise of God´s presence that lives in our hearts when our proud hearts finally bend and break. I pray that anyone who reads this would understand the Love and the Fear.

http://www.morningstarministries.org/pages/word_week/word_week_menu.html#top

The End of the Road

2005-05-26T05:53:00.000-04:00

I remember back when I was on Spring Break with my friends Nathalie, Eric, and Tara, and we were at the end of the trip, kinda bummed out, feeling like wow, it´s really over. Then outta nowhere Eric says, "IT is NOT over...guys! it´s NEVER over." that became our little theme whenever we started to feel like we were walking away from something so great and wonderful.
You know that´s really the way it is in life too, because, although we have seasons, we never have to lose the good things that have happened to us. Just because we aren´t living in it anymore doesn´t mean we can´t still relive it from another perspective. Picasso became famous because he stopped looking at art from the same perspective and tried to look at art from every perspective, how it really was. Sometimes it hurts to let go of good things and see it differently, and then our "painting" gets a little confusing.
But wats crazy is that in this life, we can be free to enjoy and remember, but that´s not the end! It´s never over if your heart is God´s. There is somekind of magical, unbelievable fulfillment of all of our hopes, dream, and ambitions waiting for us on the other side of death, which isn´t really death at all, just an exit ramp. The key is to get off at the right exit, and the only way to do that is have God driving. I´m so excited to be there and so afraid to miss it, that I have this holy fear in my heart that drives me to humility.
Who am I? What does "God" mean? I have a feeling that he is so much bigger than we expected and we are so much smaller than we act. Our religion is useless before such greatness. If we really knew how great and terrible God´s judgement is and how huge and bottomless his love is, then we would talk much less about him and listen much more to him. We would be quiet and ask him to judge our hearts, which is actually just the process of making us more human and less evil. Matt Redman says "When we face up to the glory of God, we find ourselves facedown in worship."

well i´ve said my piece.. feel free to meditate and/or post

Some C.S. Lewis Quotes. Enjoy. And Comment.

2005-05-24T06:00:00.000-04:00

"Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst."
--Reflections on the Psalms

"Many things--such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly--are done worst when we try hardest to do them."
--Studies in Medieval and Renaissance Literature

"All that we call human history--money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery--[is] the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
--Mere Christianity

"It is in the process of being worshipped that God communicates His presence to men."
--Reflections on the Psalms

Desires.

2005-05-24T05:36:00.000-04:00

There is something about being human that whispers in your ear.
It tells you about how little you are,
Stories flash across your mind to prove it.
Laughing with resignation, you know there is nothing you can do.
The life is normal, the clothes fashionable, the friends agreeable.
See this normal life reflected in my thoughts
and it begins
Growling, like an empty stomach.
Fluttering, like the hour before the final exam.
Craving, something extravagant.
C.S Lewis said our desires point us to another world.
So come fill me holy spirit, oh how I need thee.
Let the fashionable normality fall from my back
Leave me free, leave me alive, never leave me.
Whisper in my ear til I become more than human.

Sumstuff.

2005-05-23T08:03:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been so tired that the more you sleep, the more tired you get? I don´t know exactly why it´s been happening...i think im getting excited to go home to the States and then i realized I still have 4 finals and a 10 page paper that i havent really started all due in 4 days...and it just makes me tired... 4 more dayssss...
it´s not that i don´t like it here, but more that I´m just mentally ready to go home because I´ve prepared myself for that.

I´m pretty freakin excited about the last week tho...cuz jennifer casale is coming and I get to be a tour guide for a coupla days and besides there is a lot of Madrid that I still haven´t seen because I´ve been busy with school and travelling elsewhere. So hopefully we can unearth some hidden treasures...

I went to Alpha Reloaded last night at my friend Eric´s house. it´s an alpha course...maybe you have heard of that...kinda like discipleship/christian growth. Yeah so I went there and as always, they had incredible food, wine, candies, cake, etc...such a different culture here. Food is importisimo. Anyways I ended up talking in Spanish for like an hour and half and it was reallly cool to be in conversations and just be able to flow, respond, in sum..have a good conversation. I regret not having taken advantage of more opportunities like that, and I know when I get back to the States i want to find an "intercambio", someone to talk with in Spanish on a regular basis...I don´t want it all to rot in my mind. I´m sure there will be an exchange student somewhere in Marist, Vassar, or new Paltz who wants to charlar y mejorar.

OH! and i went to a bullfight last thursday evening and what sucks is that my camera battery was dead so I don´t have a single picture. But the experience was very fulfilling. I think I´m starting to understand the significance of this whole event to the Spanish culture, especially when you start to see the value of tradition, even for the most progressive-minded Spaniards. Anyways, one torero got knocked over by the bull and slightly wounded, but he kept fighting. Very impressive overall. Last Saturday there was a corrida de toros (bullfight) with horses! This is by far the most beautiful type. The horses literally play with the bull, tempting, seducing, and then at the last minute, jumping to one side, while the bull rushes by chasing the air. very sweet. i want to bring a video home if i can.

so anyhoohoo...i need to study for my lengua final
peace.

think.

2005-05-19T03:59:00.000-04:00

...for people are slaves to whatever masters them

Little Bit´

2005-05-09T13:44:00.000-04:00

I´m writing from a little computer lab here in Madrid, Spain, where I have been studying for the past 2 months. Nothing I could say here could quite describe what it is like to live, not just travel, to a new place.

In many ways, I´ve been overwhelmed by the reality of being transplanted into a new place. That´s something that hasn´t been easy for me to admit. I didn´t want to think that I couldn´t stand up to the pressure of being away from the people who usually support me and give me reality checks. If I couldn´t survive on me own, I thought, then maybe my whole Christian walk was a sham. Maybe I was just relying on other people, and living in Spain was a test to purify me.

After about a month of thinking this way, I realized I had made a big mistake. I saw that I was trying to exert my independence and deny my need for support and fellowship. I´m learning now that it is completely impossible to live without the lifeblood of other people who love Jesus, even for a short time. (I know that sometimes God gives people the grace to be physically without His Church, but that´s very rare.)

I wonder if there is anyone reading this letter who has gone through a similar thought process. It´s really disconcerting to see our weakness when we are away from other Christians, but the solution is not to tough it out, put on a bold face, and "suffer through the trial." NOOOO! That´s the best way to get lost. Unless God has specifically, explicitly, clearly called us to be away from fellowship for a brief period, then we have no right to avoid it, and every responsibility to look for it every crack and corner.

I´ve learned this lesson the hard way, and I´m paying for it now with the confusion and sense of detachment that comes from being "cutting yourself off from the vine." I´m slowly coming back to being reconnected, but it would have been so much better to never pull the plug in the first place. The Body of Christ is the greatest source of life, pleasure, and happiness, because it IS Christ! We are all little-Christs with access to the same throne, blood, power, peace, and LIFE that He had here on earth. We have connections. We know "people." We´ve got "friends." Don´t give up meeting together, whether it´s in a church building, a bar, a coffeehouse, a living room, or prison cell. If you look hard enough you will find the Bride, scattered throughout the earth, waiting to help you through your struggles.

Dry god of now

2005-04-27T07:30:00.000-04:00

Look out!
Look out across the flat stubble
of what we call today.
Touch the cracked-bloody skin of our
beloved (post) modernity
You have labored long ages
to reveal these fortresses of intellect
But the pitiful cries of your sallow
stomach
Still dirty the ears of the wind

Running like a drunken ghost towards me
The dust spills from his shriveled
tongue as
the chest writhes, painfully.
Have you enjoyed your dinner?
How long will you persist to eat
dust. and pebbles.
The idea of food is to fill you
The idea of ideas is to fill you
The idea of unfulfilling ideas
Is absurd.
Like eating dust.

Look back out.
See if you still think
it is better to eat dust.
To make love to knowledge.
I say:
Your tongue is waterless
Your lips are bleeding
And your heart is as cold
as the rocks you eat
and as dry as the dust
you cherish.

There must be more than this.

Childlikenessesers.

2005-04-26T13:48:00.000-04:00

Me:
One day I said to myself, "I will strive to be a child my whole life. To be small and wonder is better than to be big and weary."

Anonymous said...
And I said to meself, “Meself, what should I do when the strain of striving ages me? What should I do when my child-like wonderings bring wearying answers?”

Me:
i dunno...maybe it´s that we get so encrusted in being adults that even when we think we are "wondering" we are really just worrying. I think being a child at heart is really about trust and innocence. Trusting that God knows best and being innocent enough to be idealistic/a dreamer.

Sometimes we have to let go of our propensity to grow up, to constantly make ourselves more educated, to be goal oriented.

Goal orientation is really a western concept that is augmented by the powerful protestant work ethic... things that have served our country well for many years. But I think many of us are paying, or will begin to pay a high price for being "driven."

Maybe there is something better. Granted we need some goals to help us achieve things, but letting go of a goal-oriented life might serve us better.

And of course, this idea does not apply to all, particularly those of us who are still physically incapable of making our bed or doing our own laundry. :-)

Thoughts, Pensamientos, o Pensieros?

Like a child

2005-04-20T06:49:00.000-04:00

Dear God,
Surround me as I speak,
The bridges that I walk across are weak
Frustrations fill the void that I can't solely bare

Dear God,
Don't let me fall apart
You've held me close to you
I have turned away and searched for answers
I can't understand

They say that I can move the mountains
And send them falling to the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
With Faith Like a Child

Sometimes,
When I feel miles away
And my eyes can't see your face
I wonder if I've grown to lose
The recklessness I walked in light of you

They say that I can move the mountains
And send them crashing to the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
With Faith Like a Child

They say that love can heal the broken
They say that hope can make you see
They say that faith can find a Savior
If you would follow and believe
With Faith Like a Child

Jars of Clay

De niño, de puro, de libre.

2005-04-19T08:20:00.000-04:00

One day I said to myself, "I will strive to be a child my whole life. To be small and wonder is better than to be big and weary."

Esperanza por la Estrella

2005-04-14T13:24:00.000-04:00

One day I said to myself, "As for people´s expectations, well, I´m fine with not living up (or down) to them."

Duda Se Pone Seca

2005-04-14T13:19:00.000-04:00

One day I said to myself, "Your Doubt will always leave you drier than your Faith."

La Soledad de la Independecia

2005-04-13T06:09:00.000-04:00

¿De que es la iglesia
sin la comunidad?
Vivir solo es igual a muerte.
Vivir por la ley sin la gracia, una carcel.
Érase una vez pensé que yo no necesitaba
el ayudo de nadie.
Si no podía sobrevivir solo
Era débil y flácido.
Ahora he sido corregido.
Madre del saber,
ayudame, ahora, y en la hora
de mi redespierta.
Fin. (De soledad)

All Rights Reserved, 2005
Christopher Strickland

Sin Titulo

2005-04-13T05:55:00.000-04:00

Pienso y sueño,
y me dejan caer en sombras.
Sin embargo he visto que las sombras
no viviría sin la luz.
Así, tengo esperanza,
y los demás me llevan
hasta que mi corazón logre
la paz que estoy buscando.
- 13 Abril

All Rights Reserved, 2005
Christopher Strickland

Good Article

2005-04-12T12:34:00.000-04:00

This was a really good article I found on the Vineyard USA website. Check it out and send me some feedback if u like:

http://www.vineyardusa.org/upload/Building%20a%20Community%20of%20Hope%20in%20a%20Despairing%20World.pdf

Ocio que no existe

2005-03-03T12:54:00.000-05:00

back for a quick skim of what´s gone down over the past coupla weeks.

Classes have started. As it stands, I´m taking:
- Lengua
- Lit of Spain
- Lit of Hispanoamerica
- Economía de España
- Arte

So far the profs seem cool, a lot of work, especially reading. I fall about 4 chapters further behind every class lol... I think i just have to learn how to take a advantage of every moment I have to read a few lines.

One of my profs is really boring. There´s always one.

The food at the cafeteria is decent, but I usually have a tasty "bocadillo" from Rosario (my señora) and some lemon or chocolate cookies, a juice box, and some fruit. Holla back to 10th grade...

When you get into an open spot just about anywhere Madrid, you can look out over the "meseta" and see all of the mountains on the horizon... my goal is to go climb one before I leave.

One thing I like about Madrid is the atmosphere. You don´t walk through Madrid with your jaw dropped...it´s more subtle than that. In the beginning you notice the major landmarks, but over time you start to appreciate the finer things, and especially the feel of the people and the night and the history. It runs through the city like a bass guitarist trying to pump up a crowd with a jazz lick. It´s smooth, polished, complicated... but it never quite rips through you like New York does.

My Spring Break is shaping up to be a quick lookaround Amsterdam followed by some hopscotch through Italia, maybe Venice, Roma, with some luck and cheap bus rides, perhaps Pompeii.

Next weekend we go to Extremadura. I don´t really know anything about it, but I´m amped to go. Sounds Extreme, and uh, Mature?

OK kids, and grown up kids,
I´m out.

2005-02-17T09:27:00.000-05:00

Nathalie...what a doll..

2005-02-17T09:25:00.001-05:00

camilo from stetson...funny kid

2005-02-17T09:25:00.000-05:00

Cameo and Tara from the program

2005-02-17T09:24:00.001-05:00

Grandpa and baby on the esclator...aww

2005-02-17T09:24:00.000-05:00

Beautiful street adjacent to my house... taken late afternoon.

2005-02-17T09:23:00.000-05:00

Park bench where I wait for people by the metro station Ibiza

Tiempo Libre

2005-02-15T06:37:00.000-05:00

Well, I´ve been here in Madrid for a little over a week, but it seems like a month already. Not because it´s been boring, but because we have packed so much into such a short time.

It´s really somewhat breathtaking when you think about it. In the normal course of life, you see or do something new every once in a while. Here, absolutely everything we do is new, and very little comes with directions.

Ahh wow what to say, here are some of my adventures so far:
- I got lost in the most ghetto part of madrid because i tried to take a bus line i had never been on before and then i was followed by some homeless people who asked me for a cigarette and then followed me back to my house.
- Had some spanish kids from the university try out all the English curse words they knew on us, I have no clue why.
- Got lost with all the guys on our trip down some back alley in Sevilla trying to find a well-recommended bar.
- Been asked at least 20 times for weed.
- Been asked for directions by Spaniards (and i gave them)
- Flight attendents thought i was spanish
- I tripped, everyone does.
- I ate battered pig intestines.
- Been asked where Calle Ibiza is... while I was standing on it.

Well I did a little bit of freewriting the other day and it loosened up my mind, so hopefully i´ll be doing more writing than I have.

Oh, and my webshots page is: http://community.webshots.com/user/stopherk888

2005-02-07T07:33:00.000-05:00

Ciao! Madrid is UHmazing and I want to stay for a year now and maybe move here... why can´t they make cities like this in the US.. public transportation is cheap and clean...sometimes the buses are super fast but the metro always is.

The food we have is amazing... meat with every meal, salad, fresh bread that Paco buys every morning while Rosario makes the desayuno... a common breakfast drink is cafe con leche which is coffee and milk with the proportions reversed from the way we drink it.

we´ve been exploring the city constantly... everyone stays out til the early morning (4 or 5), especially the younger people...

que mas...well there are starbucks here lol... which i dont feel bad about, but what i do feel bad about is britney spears and McDonalds

anyways gotta bounce email me or post to the blog!!!

2005-02-04T09:31:00.000-05:00

this is a killer picture.....

hmm

2005-01-28T13:52:00.000-05:00

"Some people say I talk a little fast but if you listen a little faster I aint gotta slow down for you to catch up."

Chew on that. Wut.

I've got a question.

2005-01-26T13:16:00.000-05:00

Does the Bible indicate that we will have any assurance of our salvation other than simply an intellectual understanding of that truth?

This question was posed to me recently and I wanted to see if anyone had ideas.

This site is trading iPods' for marketing

2005-01-18T13:20:00.000-05:00

If anyone is interested in helping me get a free iPod:

http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=12372475

Several people I have spoken to in person have recieved an iPod via this site.
The basic scheme is that only a small percentage of people actually go through with this, maybe 1 in 20. This means that for 250 dollars, the company has the abilty to reach at least 20 people with advertising directly tailored to their needs.

So, to avoid being an insipid tool, simply give them an email address that you don't use anymore.

I am a poor college student :-) who would love to have an iPod to take with me to Europe. So please have compassion on me and click the link. Wow, how lame Chris, how lame. :-))

800 Passenger Jet???

2005-01-18T11:40:00.000-05:00

I thought this was fascinating. Airbus is making the A380, a jet that will be capable of carrying up to 800 passengers. The tail is taller than a *7* story building! Can you imagine being with that many people on an airplane... the only downside is that crashes would be more tragic.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&ncid=&e=9&u=/ap/20050118/ap_on_bi_ge/france_airbus_a380_s_debut_13

2005-01-16T22:30:00.000-05:00

This is my hero!

2005-01-16T22:29:00.000-05:00

Pretty in Pink

Sunday is my Favorite Day of the Week!

2005-01-16T22:24:00.000-05:00

So today was amazing... discipleship meeting in the morning, powerful church meeting with clear prophetic words and testimony, and some great singing afterwards by the Clermont Chorale (not by me :-).

But most wonderful of all was being with my second family, the Teubl's. Every day I become more and more thankful to have a 2nd family like them in my life.

Also, I've become more cognizant of how God is increasing my love for the 'brotherhood', or the family that is my Church. In the Spirit of 1 John, I've been seeing God do a miracle in my heart. The people who seemed distant, unlike me, even strangers, have now become the people closest to my heart.

Amazingly, this is even happening in my biological family. :-) Honestly, that is the hardest place for love to flourish sometimes. Somehow God has enabled us to grow together in love despite the rough spots, and there are some rough spots. Last night I saw an aspect of my mom at work that I have never seen before. She was elegant, professional, and motherly. I truly was proud of her.

Anyhooo...it's time for me to crash, and I hope to be more faithful to update over the next few months.

Would you like a whisper or a whip?

2005-01-13T13:48:00.000-05:00

I will instruct you and show you the way to go;
with My eye on you, I will give counsel.
Do not be like a horse or mule,
without understanding,
that must be controlled with bit and bridle,
or else it will not come near you.
Many pains come to the wicked,
but the one who trusts in the Lord
will have faithful love surrounding him.

Psalm 32:8-10

God spoke to me through this verse last night, and I realized that it expressed the desire of my heart. I don't want to be like a stupid horse that fails to realize the master has good plans for it. I don't want to fight the work of the Holy Spirit in my heart to the point that He has to discipline me.

If I always wait until God has to severely correct me, I won't be very useful or empowered. My experience as a Christian won't be too different from the life of the wicked: "many pains."

If I stay close to God and fight to hear his quiet voice, then my experience will be that God will "instruct me and show me the way to go." Jesus often said that he only did the will of the Father. He was guided by a whisper, not a whip.

Praise God that He is faithful to bring a whip into our lives to keep us from falling away from Him, but how much sweeter would His whisper be?

2005-01-03T22:57:00.000-05:00

jonnnyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!

2005-01-03T22:55:00.000-05:00

Mandy Mandy

2005-01-03T22:53:00.000-05:00

Aww...isn't she a doll?

Rules for Women

2005-01-03T22:33:00.000-05:00

I like this. It's true. For the most part.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color! Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, tennis, poker, or golf.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.

2004-12-17T21:17:00.000-05:00

how the heck do i get these onto my freakin profile

2004-12-17T18:02:00.000-05:00

What?

CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!

2004-12-17T17:42:00.000-05:00

Well it's pretty much all behind me. I only have one small paper to write and the corresponding movie to watch. But even that might not happen and so it's possible that I currently done.

I've been far away from my blog, and I miss it, or at least I miss writing some lines down. We all know how much we hate blogs that don't get updated. The writer themselves hate it.

So I hope during break I'll be able to ruminate and maybe use this as a way to communicate to back home.

Blue and Red make Problems I mean Purple

2004-11-04T13:35:00.001-05:00

As I was watching the news last wednesday morning, I was struck by the visceral dichotomy between the so called "red states" and "blue states." The blue states on the coast, the red states in the heartland (except for the Great Lake states). Many commentators have pointed to the bold distinction created by the red and blue map, putting forth some bold ideas about the "polarization" of America.

While the election map may indicate some strong trends, we have to realize that the map is colored according to the winner of the popular vote, no matter if there is a 1 or 20% margin. This means, of course that American is more homogenized than the map demonstrates. There are certainly welfare liberals in Texas, and libertarian conservatives in New York.

A much more telling statistic is the percentage margin of victory for each candidate in their strongest states.

For example, in California, New York, Illinois, Massachusetts, Maryland, and several other states, Kerry's margin of the popular vote was well over 10% in each, for a total of 146 electoral votes. Bush pulled off a 10% margin of victory in over 22 states, including Texas, North Carolina, Tennesee, Indiana, Georgia, and Arizona, for a total of 183 electoral votes.

So, while the commentators are right in pointing out some geographic differences, they are foolish to derive their information from a pretty map.

Now, if this polarization does exist, why does it and what can be done about it?

I'll write more about that next time.

stuff I thought of.

2004-10-21T14:36:00.000-04:00

Excessive are my thoughts of late, almost the point of torpidity. I am a thinker. More specifically I am a dreamer. Sometimes I think til all I want to do is scream. There are so many gargantuan problems, swirling ideas, biases, and homogenized elements of life, and so, so little time.

When we are young, our thoughts are simple (duh). I wish sometimes I could live completely like a child again. Anyways, as we develop, our minds begin to embrace the macroscopic. The thoughts we hold in our minds grow in strength and expanse until the far reaches of our cerebrum fail to maintain mastery. By this I mean that we think about things that are so far outside of our realm of existence or influence that we are tempted to despair in the futility of it all.

For example, this week I've really been questioning things I believe about life, God, laws, and morality. The substance of my questions has not been so much about "what" I believe, but "why" I believe it. I'm sure many of you have experienced a similar shakedown, or to use a biblical word, testing. In the university, I daily face a multiplicity of viewpoints that prima facie would seem to contradict the general ethos of my upbringing in a conservative yet unorthodox Christian family. I always choose to entertain these challenges because I fear the deceptive comfort of all that is familiar. I would rather have my beliefs shaken and hopefully reaffirmed than live in the pastel warmth of flaccid Christianity. And can such an unchallenged faith really be considered genuine?

No, so bring it on I say... and just pray for God to bring some lucidity into the torpidity. :-)

Whining to Shining :-)

2004-10-13T14:37:00.000-04:00

Well. It's been almost 10 days since my last post, which is not a good thing for a blog. But I have some excuses.

This past week, I got into the Madrid study abroad program with my school, traveled down to the Maryland v Georgia Tech football game for the weekend, and dealt with some tough issues in my campus christian fellowship.

On top of this I have 2 midterms this week, and the incessant accumulation of schoolwork to make my life even more complicated.

And... this is where I stop complaining and begin to say something worth reading. Just to let you know, complaining is a great way to loosen up your inner writer because then you realize how silly it all sounds, and you really begin to produce quality thought.

Something I was thinking about today is the fact that during my 30 minute commute everyday, I can observe a transition from one biosphere to another. Near my house, the early morning sun creeps through glorious warmth of peak fall colors with a stunning intensity. Yet as I drive closer to the Hudson river, higher concentrations of clorophyll allow for a less spectacular demonstration of beauty. Something about proximity to the river prevents the trees from closing the doorways to the leaves, and thus delays fall for a week or two. Interesting?

I am eternally grateful for the creation around me, pressing, pushing, pointing me towards the Infinite Beauty. There is something that happens in my heart when I am quiet before presence of God manifest in creation. And, think, this is only a shadow, and a poor one at that, of the majesty of Yahweh. It is only a reflection of the perfection that is still coming. My heart leaps when I think about something greater and truer than all of the combined joy, thrill, contentment, and power I have experience here in this earth. Maranatha!

1 Thessalonians 5:13b-21

2004-10-04T13:28:00.000-04:00

Be at peace among yourselves. And we exhort you, brothers: warn those who are lazy, comfort the discouraged, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See to it that no one repays evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good for one another and for all. Rejoice always! Pray constantly. Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Don't stifle the Spirit. Don't despise prophecies, but test all things. Hold on to what is good. (Holman)

Be at shalom among yourselves. We exhort you, brothers, admonish the disorderly, encourage the fainthearted, support the weak, be patient toward all. See that no one returns evil for evil to anyone, but always follow after that which is good, towards one another, and towards all.
Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Messiah Yeshua toward you. Don't quench the Spirit. Don't despise prophesies. Test all things, and hold firmly that which is good.
(Hebrew Names Version)

Well, I saw these verses today, while I was going through www.crosswalk.com, and I was struck by how succinctly they capture the essence of "Bodylife" in the church. These verses speak to my heart of how to be a leader, and more importantly, how to be like Jesus. Be encouraged with this.

Revelation 4:8b

2004-10-04T11:52:00.000-04:00

sanctus sanctus sanctus Dominus Deus omnipotens qui erat et qui est et qui venturus est

2004-10-01T21:26:00.000-04:00

3 of 3.

2004-10-01T21:21:00.000-04:00

Why do they keep taking pics of me??

2004-10-01T21:16:00.000-04:00

This is the first in a series. Zachary, Age 6.

Do you believe in absolute truth???

2004-09-30T16:56:00.000-04:00

Well, this may come as a suprise to some of you, but I don't believe in absolute truth.

That's right, I don't believe in absolute truth. The problem with absolute truth is that people become satisfied with where they are. They never fight their way into new understandings and perspectives and remain passive and placid. This is dangerous to humanity and the progress of society.

Instead, I propose a new concept that will avoid the pitfalls of "absolute truth", AND it's antithesis: relativism.

This is what I call: infinite absolute truth. This means that no matter how truthful a truth is and how relevant to our lives, anything that is worth calling truth has infinite potential to be explored and infinte potential to enlighten and shift our paradigms. Indeed, this perspective allows us to avoid the flaccid, prostituted concept of moral ambiguity and situational ethics, while all the while never submitted to the persistent tidal force of comforting "absolute truth". We can no longer peg our suspicions and culturally based understandings on "absolute truth." We can no longer justify our racisms and biases on such. And perhaps most poignantly, we cannot afford to wantonly center our lives on an unexamined, in fact, unexploited truth. We seem to think that truth needs to be treated with respect. I propose that truth needs to be pillaged and plundered and ravished. If it fact it is truth then it will stand tall and strong under the duress of our blows. When we have finished (perhaps only after a lifetime) assaulting our understandings, only then is it worth fully trusting in.

Now. My theory so far leaves out one important element: revelation. If supernatural exists, then our understanding is elevated in two ways: harvesting knowledge/wisdom, and direct revelation from God or light or truth or whatever you want to call it. (That is the subject of a different essay.) Revelation or, "catalyzed enlightenment", as I like to call it, involves a nearly instantaneous transformation of our psyche/mind, generally resulting in different behavior, and at minimum altered thought processes. If the modus operandi for interacting with infinite truth is lifelong systematic reflection and reexamination, how then does instantaneous enlightenment fit into this scheme? I suggest that revelation becomes yet another stone in the bulwark of accumulated understanding. The difference is that we didn't have to quarry, cut, polish and move the stone. But once the wall is in place, we would go amiss to fail to constantly probe, test, and challenge the wall. We do not take it for granted that the wall will always and forver stand exactly how it has.

postscript:

hmm... well I don't know if that was exactly how i wanted this all to come out... the wall analogy has several weaknesses... maybe someone can point them out for me...

:-) in Jesus

Nail Polish can change your life. No joke.

2004-09-29T11:41:00.000-04:00

"Some girls even say that nail polish can brighten up your day...when life's got them down, quality time with their nails can turn the day around."

That, my friends, is a direct quote from my little big sister Lydia. I had no idea that a small bottle of nitrocellulose had that much potential for the betterment of humankind, and by that I mean the people that have to live with un-nailpolished women.

From now on, (de ahora adelante), I'm going on record as a firm advocate for uninhibited nail polish consumption. This miracle substance not only strengthens your keratin, it builds your self-esteem.

Anyways, peace.

The Call

2004-09-28T14:12:00.000-04:00

Well, they called me. They want an interview. Now that could either be a good thing or a bad thing. They may have accepted me, or I could be right on the cusp of denial. Maybe by tonight I'll know if i'm going to Spain.

Bono on Jesus

2004-09-27T19:16:00.000-04:00

"That there's a force of love and logic behind the universe is overwhelming to start with, if you believe it. But the idea that that same love and logic would choose to describe itself as a baby born in shit and straw and poverty, is genius. And brings me to my knees, literally. Christ's example is being demeaned by the church if they ignore the new leprosy, which is AIDS. The church is the sleeping giant here. If it wakes up to what's really going on in the rest of the world, it has a real role to play. If it doesn't, it will be irrelevant."

I have a fan club! That is to say, people steal my profile items.

2004-09-27T19:04:00.000-04:00

Gina stole my quote by Alice Cooper:

"It's really easy to get drunk. It's easy to trash your hotel room. What's difficult is to be a Christian - now that's rebellion." -Alice Cooper

haha... but she didn't even get it right, so here it is:

"Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion."
--Alice Cooper in The London Sunday Times

AH, what can i say, people misrepresent me ALL the time... i guess it goes with the territory...

Express thyself. Centeredness.

2004-09-27T19:00:00.000-04:00

ok well i'm sitting here in the library three days ahead on homework, so i figured i would write a little being that this doesn't happen too often...

i think writing is quite a habit to get into because normally we never release all of those little thoughts which constantly course through our minds. i mean think about some of the secret thoughts you have that you would never, ever consider saying to anyone. Not even bad things. Just all of these little ideas and suspicions and prejudices and hopes and human things. i mean, really, we make our selves out to be so much better and more together than we are. if we all could see the unadulterated truth in each other, i would laugh. we all would i think, at what an incredible job we've done at tricking ourselves and each other into thinking we have it together.

anyways, next time i think about one of those things that i normally wouldn't say to anyone, i'll try to write it down.

on the subject of people, which is one of my favorites, i've realized how self-centered i am. (see i just did it right there...started talking about others and wandered onto myself!!!) Now, normally we associate self-centered with words like "pigheaded" or "chauvinistic", and perhaps some of you would like to accuse me of those faults as well, but i'm talking about different permutation of self-centered. it's just that we all think about our SELF SO much. we order our lives around ourselves. we plan out of schedule for the day according to what SELF needs to do. it's really amazing when you think about it.

i think the only possible way to avoid this is to not be so busy and to live communally in some sense. sometimes it bothers me that i can go a whole day pretty much centered around what i want to do. on the one hand, it's stuff that needs to be done. I am after all, a college student. i have a goal for these few years of my life. but is that really an excuse for being this way? Is it even good to be this way?

Please don't get me wrong and think i'm a hermit. my friends will tell you otherwise, for example Gina, who thinks that i am a glutton for attention. But this is the question i've been wrestling with: is there anyway to be task-oriented and avoid centering on self? If anyone has ideas let me know... for answers im looking...

First post of all time

2004-09-20T23:07:00.000-04:00

Here goes everything and nothing all at once... hopefully this can be a place for me to create and "ruminate".